Chris Evans is People’s Sexiest Man Alive
Well, that’s the choice I think a lot of people have, and Peoplewere expecting: Chris Evans is officially your sexiest man alive. Last year’s pick, Paul Rudd, was like the comforting, safe cup of soup with a grilled cheese sandwich. Chris Evans is basically that but with a glass of whiskey on the side. It’s no surprise, he’s going to be a widely applauded choice, and there’s also a little more difficulty. The photos do a good job of showing that he is, yes, really hot, and in a ruffled way. He would be the hot neighbor in your Airbnb campaign helping you figure out which fuse you just blew, there might be motor oil on his shirt but somehow it doesn’t smell bad, and he would have a very big, friendly dog that loves you, which, hey, Pete the Golden Retriever’s opinion is the one that really matters. Somewhere in here, you’re probably sucked into doing farm things with him, and he’s impressed that you don’t mind helping deliver that calf at midnight while the vet is stuck with a flat tire. Then suddenly you fuck him in front of a fireplace and you sell your apartment in a big city. So like… these photos are kind of a Hallmark movie fantasy of a smoking man who just wants a simple, but hot, but simple and hot life. They are awesome. I’m in.
Besides being a natural and easy choice, Chris Evans also feels like the guy you keep in your back pocket when there aren’t any immediate options in the air (they love news). It’s evergreen, it will ALWAYS work, so you don’t pull the rip cord unless it’s an emergency. It is not NECESSARY to have an ongoing project to promote, but certainly People likes to pick someone who’s in-the-moment or must-have, and there aren’t any immediately obvious (to me) kings of pop culture right now other than Harry Styles. But I guess they were planning that already in the summer or in Venice, when don’t worry darling and all the associated gossip circulated. Ever since this movie came out of the awards talk, I suspect Harry folks, and again People, preferred not to resurrect the associated gossip now that it’s died down – especially because it’s hard to do one with a bachelor without SOME shy mentions of a personal life, or if they want kids . Harry will have his day, or end up among the nicest people, the ones who don’t have a first-person interview, and that’s fine. Chris Pine might have played, if DWD had been an Oscar hopeful. I wouldn’t be shocked if J.Lo’s camp had tried to put Ben Affleck in the running, although she’s sure vogue in December (by posting it tomorrow!) so maybe his attention was elsewhere, and also, I don’t feel that choice. Who else are we left with? During the last years People avoided recent repeats…Daniel Craig has glass onion sticking out, but it’s another pretty solid evergreen choice that doesn’t really need to be deployed yet. Henry Golding, maybe, if people hadn’t hated it Persuasion so many? He will one day, that’s for sure. Rege-Jean Page is probably on someone’s list, but I think he needs another one Bridgerton-like a great first time. When it comes to TV shows with buzz, they’re not going to choose someone who throws F-bombs from Successionor the guy whose face rotted on house of dragons. I do not think so People wants to walk along this edge. Did enough people watch the news the Lord of the Rings do a domestic sexyface with one of them? Probably not.
Who would you name? Or is it the right Chris at the right time? Calms my nerves today, that’s for sure.