Five Reasons Dallas Cowboys (Not Really) Win Super Bowl LVI

The 2021 NFL season kicks off next Thursday with the Dallas Cowboys visiting reigning Super Bowl champion Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Fans will be able to be in the stadium seats, which will make watching on TV more exciting. And the Dallas Cowboys will win Super Bowl LVI. Okay maybe not, but we can think of some silly reasons why they might do it.

High school football kicked off in east Texas last week with some great games and the hope of a state title. Can my hometown Lindale Eagles make another deep run in the playoffs? We’ll see. I will definitely be cheering them on every Friday night. College football kicks off this weekend. The NFL begins its season on September 9 in Tampa Bay.

I’ve been a Dallas Cowboys my whole life. Sounds like I was a teenager the last time they won a Super Bowl, but I’ll always cheer on the American team. Like any fan, I have high hopes for this season. Dak is back after his horrific injury last season. The offensive line looks good. Zeke could have a good year. The defense seems to be much better with new coordinator Dan Quinn. I see a good year ahead.

I’m not a fan of yelling “we’re going to the Super Bowl!” before each season. But I can dream, right? So I thought I would get a little bit of a silly and give you five reasons why the Dallas Cowboys win Super Bowl LVI in Los Angeles on February 13, 2022.

via GIPHY

  1. The Cowboys offensive line will make sure to shake hands with each referee before each game and not yell at them so they don’t call penalties when Zeke kicks the ball.
  2. Patrick Mahomes will not stop calling Andy Reid Wilford Brimley and is traded to the Cowboys for Stephen Jones and a few assistants. Jerry Jones sells the team to Mark Cuban a few weeks later. Coaches can finally train again.
  3. Dak Prescott receives an injection of cells from Joe Montana and becomes the greatest quarterback in NFL history.
  4. The Cowboys offense is none other than Ezekiel Elliott and their other football-running backers. Zeke rushes for 4,135 yards and the Cowboys lead the league in possession at 55:00 minutes per game. Cowboys win because the opposing offense cannot stay on the field long enough to score.
  5. The Dallas Cowboys will actually be good in both offense and defense, going 14-2 and a Super Bowl LVI 30-28 victory over the Kansas City Chiefs.

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