If you had told me a year ago that my 2022 would include not one, not two, but Three travels across the country, I would have laughed and asked you who, exactly, was transporting me to the United States. I’ve had a driver’s license since the embarrassing age of 24, but I’m generally not seen by people in my life as a “good” driver, and on my first car trip – since New York to Austin, followed by another from New York to Nashville – I mostly let my friends drive.
My third and final road trip of the year, however, looked a little different: I traveled from Austin (where I live) to Los Angeles (where my partner lives) and back on my own, within a month. . After spending about 55 hours of my life alone in a 10-year-old Honda Fit with only empty McDonald’s bags and the occasional flight for company, I feel like I have to less 17 wisdoms to share. Read them all, below.
- A travel routine is essential. For some, this routine might involve doing restorative yoga at sunset every day or making an effort to seek out local art in each new city; to me, it was more like getting the same peppermint mocha and turkey-bacon breakfast sandwich at Starbucks every morning, rain or shine, in Lubbock, Albuquerque, or Santa Fe. (Were there better coffee deals in those cities? No doubt, but I’m a creature of habit.)
- It’s perfectly fine to drive around in a sports bra when you’re really sweaty and hate all your shirts.
- National parks have surprisingly nice public restrooms. (For reference, the one in Painted Desert in Arizona has desert posters hanging in the restroom, which, since I arrived too late in the day to explore the park, I found extremely thoughtful.)
- The final hour of travel will always, always be, always feel the longest.
- The only way to become a confident driver is… to drive, ideally on long stretches of American highway, with few other cars on the road to scare you. (You can progress to defensive driving.)
- You need 20 minutes of exercise a day to avoid the dreaded “driver’s knee”, a condition that I suffered to such an extent that I had to spend an extra day in Marfa, Texas, waiting that my leg is bendable again.
- If you have to spend an extra day anywhere, try making it Marfa. (The local journal it’s also a cafe! There is good food everywhere! Eileen Myles lives there, along with seemingly every other hot queer artist since time immemorial!)
- The only way out is through. Cliché, sure, but that certainly applies to a seven-hour drive.
- When you plan a seven-hour trip and Of course you can’t get there, break down the trip by activity; for example, your first hour is calling your friends, your second is for podcasts, your third is for blasting Kim Petras on repeat, your fourth includes a stop at the gas station for Cheez-Its and Sprite, etc.
- La Quinta Inn & Suites has a gym, pool, and laundry service, usually for less than the cost of a decent Airbnb.
- When it comes to skincare, face mists are your friend; they wake you up instantly and make you feel like you do not have spent the last five days on the road in a rolling crate.
- In fact, on the positive note: be honest with yourself about your fatigue! It’s always smarter to pull over for the night, or even a few hours, than to fall so sleepy at the wheel that even a facial mist won’t revive you.
- Snack strategically. I had a fairly open policy on snacks on my road trip, but having a bag of Mandarins Kishu of my partner to unfurl and appear in my mouth when I desperately needed vitamin C (and was exhausted from potato road foods, even though I never thought that it could happen) has made a big difference in my energy level.
- Consider local laws i.e. just because weed is legal in a the state you are going through does not mean that it will be the case in the other. (Take it from a girl who may or may not have had a nervous breakdown outside the border inspection station in El Paso.)
- Take the time to see beautiful things. I know the impetus of a road trip is usually to get from place to place as efficiently as possible, but my trip wouldn’t have been the same if I hadn’t stopped at a spa. hot springs in New Mexico or take the time to gaze at magnificent red rock vistas in Arizona. These are the things that I Actually remember my road trip, not the days when I went from state to state in less than six hours (although I count those days among my most important accomplishments).
- Audiobooks are your friends. (Tina Brown Palace papers was a real one.)
- Constantly remind yourself how lucky you are to be wild and free on the road, because it’s not an opportunity for everyone. I mean, drive carefully and all, but exult a little in the moment, especially when you’re completely exhausted and just need to roll down the windows and shout to the soundtrack of Grey’s Anatomy first season.
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