How soon is it too early to move in together? | Advice

Annie Lane

Dear Anne: Prior to my new relationship, I had two other relationships, and both were with emotionally abusive and narcissistic men. For three years, I have been completely single and focus on my children and myself.

Recently I started a long distance relationship with a man who lives in California. I plan to move there in the next few months, so I don’t see a problem since I will be there and we will be able to spend a lot more time together.

My question is, would it be okay for him to move in with me for the next two to four months – until I move from here to there?

He too is in a period of transition where he stays with his family in order to save money for a house. He had planned to move to the same place as me, in California, long before we started talking.

He talked about transferring his job so that all of us – my children, me and him – would move as a group to Los Angeles when the time came.

I’ve been doing everything myself for years, so having him here wouldn’t necessarily be for financial reasons, although he would help me, as he once did. But having him here would mostly be emotional support for me.

We have been talking and dating for three months. He comes to visit every opportunity that presents itself. I can tell that he is serious and cares a lot about my children and me.

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