Inside the ‘worst hotel in the UK’ full of surprises – from old panties to boiling rooms – Milo Boyd

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The Britannia Hotel in Bournemouth has good reason to claim the title of worst in the country, due to its woefully bad reviews and the chain’s miserable reputation for poor quality.

Would the hotel live up to the hype?

“The hotel room had urine and poo marks all over it.”

“If I saw the room before paying, I would have slept in my car.”

“I don’t know how this hotel is still up and taking reservations. I fell asleep crying.”

“MY GOD IS THE MOST uncomfortable BED I have ever slept in (INCLUDES AN HOSTEL IN AFRICA)”

“Walking through the reception we encountered the first real smells of what can only be described as evil mixed with death.”

It is fair to say that everyone who has stayed at the Britannia Bournemouth had a great time.

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The vegetarian breakfast served in the morning was actually quite good



The above complaints, taken from the top five reviews on its Trip Advisor page, perfectly sum up the devastating mutilations that visitors to the five-story lodge have suffered online.

Out of 1,400 reviews, 628 consider the Britannia to be ‘terrible’, hailing any remnants of its faded glamor as tired and dilapidated, noting the copious amounts of dog poop woven into the steaming lawn and generally dragging it over the hot coals of criticism.

Based on the fact that this is the lowest rated hotel of Britannia hotels, which has been voted the UK’s worst hotel chain for eight consecutive years – and given that Trip Advisor refuses to publicly list its lowest-ranked locations – the place is at the very least in the running for the worst hotel in the country.








The pool looked like it had been dry for a long time
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)



Many acid-tongued critics claimed he landed first, with one even suggesting he was extremely poor.

It was with that overwhelming headline in mind that I left the Mirror’s ivory towers of London and headed to the forgotten gem of the South Coast to see for myself if the hotel lived up to the hype.

Surprisingly, it was remarkably easy to find someone to fill the other bed in the £ 44 twin room I had booked, with two close friends fighting for the opportunity to try the destination.

The first thing that strikes you when you enter the parking lot is the hotel sign police.





The words “Britannia Hotel” are scrawled on the white facade in a two-foot high ballpoint pen style, making it look like a downtown cinema with long shutters.

To the left of the entrance is a deserted glass swimming complex, with the large empty pool in the middle urging you not to jump in after a sticky day drinking on the waterfront.








A garbage bag lay next to the drinks fridge at the reception
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)










In the hallway the linen tree had been thrown
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)



The receptionist who greeted us at the front desk was straightforward and professional.

As she took the £ 7.50 room and breakfast payment, we got a chance to look around the lobby, which continued the cinema theme with its faded rugs and ‘two Budweiser’ posters. for £ 5 ”covering the walls.

A black trash bag full of trash lay abandoned in front of the drinks fridge as we stepped into an elevator clearly too small to accommodate a wheelchair, presumably restricting people with limited mobility downstairs.

A peek out of the window onto the bizarre steaming central courtyard revealed a winning trifecta of big nighttime props – a drug bag, unloaded canisters of laughing gas, and a condom wrap.








Central smoking courtyard contained unlikely delicacies
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)



Adorning the hallways was an extremely odd selection of hotel art, an oil painting of a monk with princely features watching us make our way through piles of sheets thrown to room 428.

Much has been done on Trip Advisor on the quality of the rooms.

People complain in various ways that they smell like grass, they are dirty, they would have been “worn and dated in the 70s”, they are littered with used panties and leggings.

While our own room did not offer such unpleasant surprises, there were issues.

Whether it was years of common sweating released from the boiling room in the morning or just dampness, plaster was piercing a wall.








One of the eclectic works of art on the walls had come off
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)










The tea and coffee utensils came in a transparent plastic bag
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)



A peculiar dead fly lay on the windowsill, harmless except in that it suggested that the room had not been cleaned as thoroughly as we would have liked.

Deeply stained armchairs attested to this suspicion, while a screw protruding from a picture frame implied a lack of general maintenance.

For several hours we were unable to light the room as everything except the bathroom lights were turned off, leaving us with the deafening extractor fan until a cheerful man at the front desk explained that the switch central electric was hidden under the kettle.

Next to that was a clear plastic bag filled with jars of milk, tea, coffee, and plastic teaspoons, roughly strong enough to hold a jar of midnight noodles.

In 2021, at the end of a 16-month spell that has decimated much of this country’s hotel industry, the £ 44 fee for a double room is extremely cheap.








All this room for £ 44
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)










In short, a good time like everyone else
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Picture:

Milo Boyd)



For that price, a large bedroom large enough for two beefy boys to settle in for the night awaits, with a large TV at the end of the bed and a view of the tree-lined parking lot.

Yes, the sounds of couples arguing and the TV choices of others are audible, but as long as the bedroom door is closed, they are little more than muffled background characters.

Maybe it was the right company or the surprisingly blue skies that had finally broken through after weeks of gray, but I had a great time at the Britannia.

The beds were comfortable, bug free, and contained only a curious short, slightly suspicious hair.

The fried vegetarian breakfast was perfectly good and filling, as was the apple juice and coffee.

But best of all were the staff, who towards a man and a woman were kind to us and upbeat – you would have thought it was no small feat when working in one of Britain’s worst hotels .





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