We rated every night of Lincoln Freshers’ Week

By Judy J. Beasley Last updated Jan 19, 2023

And yes, we have seen you all running after ducks…

Freshers’ Week symbolizes the freedom for young people to explore themselves and the beautiful city of Lincoln, and you could also say that maybe this walk is best explored in a straight line. This first week of college life is blessed with the term ‘Freshers’ week’. Here we see freshmen settling into their apartments, their course, and this lovely guy setting up Smirnoffs in his underwear.

As Lincoln’s seven-day bender draws to a close, we’re reminiscing about the last week most won’t remember thanks to cheap VK’s lovely new intro. We went to each of the biggest events of Freshers’ Week 2022 trying everything from the infamous Freshers’ Bongo’s Bingo to the slightly more PG Welcome Carnival. This year, there really was something for everyone, and Lincoln’s first week of freshman mayhem did not disappoint. While it’s fair to give each event the attention it deserves, so here’s the ultimate breakdown of how each event went (rated on a scale of one to I’m still going to talk about that night in third year).

The Freshers host the carnival

Starting off strong with the Welcome Carnival which honestly looked amazing from the outside, attracting all the first years with dazzling lights, people on stilts and of course endless Dizzee Rascal remixes. The cooler eight pints queuing for the huge thrill rides outside also made it a night to remember – not for the people below. From brightly colored fairground rides to a carnival-themed indoor club playing all our favorite music, this event was bound to draw the crowd it had. Setting a precedent for the days to come saw the welcome carnival as something to remember if you can. Maybe it was me waiting in line for the thrill ride?

Rating: 9/ten for carnival wheels and chaotic rides

The Freshers Foam Party

The next night was the Freshers’ Foam Party, so if your idea for a night out was to end up coming home looking like a swamp monster, then tonight was the night for you. The housemates all gathered to witness the display of a night club ensemble, brilliant drinks and plenty of foam rivaling even the Brayford itself. With a masterclass of wet, messy hair and good times, this event satisfied all budding shower enthusiasts.

Global mark : 7/ten for soaking jeans and frothy pints.

Charlatan! beach party

The one we’ve all been waiting for. The Magnum Opus, the wait is over, that first bite into that steak from Greggs, the official charlatan! Party on the beach. With slightly questionable beach-themed clothing, perhaps more so in Blackpool than in California, there was still an array of smashing beach dressers, smashing drinks and smashing music. Just try to dodge beach balls when someone puts one in your pint. The event seemed to attract not only freshmen but also older years, stealing rubber duckies from people never seemed so normal (making me believe it was definitely more Blackpool). As the night drew to a close, clubbers received a stern reminder that flip flops might not be the right choice, but we all know it was so worth it.

Global mark : ten/ten especially for rubber ducks and first years fighting to catch one.

The drag ball extravaganza

If that didn’t tickle your imagination, there was a mirage of other events including the Drag Ball “Extravaganza” and I was thrilled to see that this was truly an “Extravaganza” to remember. Extremely fun atmosphere coupled with lots of hairspray and cheap drinks. It was a great insight into drag culture and the welcome everyone had here in Lincoln. Definitely one to look back on!

Rating: 9/ten for UK Hun’s remixes and fabulous line-ups.

The Alternative Freshers evening

For sullen teenagers, it was the most important party of all: the Black Parade Alternative Freshers Party. It was definitely an alternative for all the right reasons, featuring the best outfits so far (sorry Kilo Vintage Fair). The vibe was gothic and the era was memorable even though I forgot my eyeliner at Boots. Nonetheless, the array of drinks and music to 2000s emo anthems ended Friday night with a My Chemical Romance-shaped bang. This Freshers event was definitely one not to look back in anger on (is Oasis an alternative?).

Rating: 7/ten for drum solos and black eyeliner.

Bongo bingo

Mecca Bingo may have to adapt to the market as this event seemed oddly all too familiar. A far cry from your grandmother’s Benidorm bingo, Freshers Bongo’s Bingo saw somersaults, fabulous costumes and sometimes “did that man just come on stage?” Best prize of all being Jeremy Kyle’s cutout.

Rating: 8 /ten for the double ended dildos and sensual stage outfits.

Honorable Mentions

It’s fair to mention the Big Freshers Quiz and the Silent Disco for bringing a wider variety of events to this massive week-long lineup. Yes we all like the hangover and the room that smells of brewery, but for more sophisticated beginners, it was definitely worth the wait. The great freshmen quiz is a great way to connect with roommates, even if you invited that guy to write who can’t even spell college. The only issue I had with the silent disco was figuring out how to gesture back to the bar, which should tell you how exciting this event really was. And finally the Vintage Kilo Fair bringing affordable clothing to a week that must be hurting all of our bank accounts for all the right reasons.

Score for the Big Freshers quiz: 6/10 for questionable team names and beer-stained quiz sheets

Notes for Silent Disco: 8/ten for those who can’t shazamer anything and sunglasses indoors

Note for the Kilo Fair: 9/ten for the vintage musk and surplus of hawaiian shirts

Enjoy your freshman year at the University of Lincoln at 9am. And yes, Isaac Newton was born here, prepare to hear it a lot.