‘Winter House’ is Bravo’s darkest show

In the great history of Bravo television, there have been some real disappointments. Remember 100 days of summer, a one-season question about six “professionals” living in Chicago (pejorative)? Or Miss advised, a reality show following sex columnists including the one and only Julia Allison? And then of course there was The People’s Sofa, a show about people who watch Bravo shows. All of this made me sad, but no Bravo reality show has ever depressed me as much as winter housea series in which the stars of summer house and Southern Charm collide with random Instagram models at an Airbnb in Vermont to get drunk to oblivion. The second season premieres on October 13.

winter house is a product of the pandemic; the first season was filmed in the depths of the winter of 2021 and reflects the desperation and claustrophobia of that time. Everyone was so drunk. The rental kitchen table was never covered with 47 solo cups, Cheeto dust and half-eaten pasta salad. The only bright spot was the introduction of Andrea Denver, a handsome Italian model who was in no way related to anyone in the house, but somehow ended up in the show. He courted Paige Desorbo, a summer house regular who should really consider Kelly Conaboy’s offer to write his eventual book. But then it turned out he was texting other women, and Paige ended up with Southern Charmis Craig Conover, a creepy little man who makes pillows for a living.

This season, Paige and Craig are back, along with Craig’s nemesis Austen Kroll, who is one of Bravo’s worst men, period. They join Summer House’s depressingly married couple, Kyle Cooke and Amanda Batula, as well as new coincidences, including Craig’s fraternity brother Kory Keefer (okay) and a woman named Jessica Stocker who’s featured in the material. Bravo’s promo as “a beautiful Metaverse real estate agent, investor, and entrepreneur from Los Angeles. Help. (Incidentally, Jessica looks so much like summer house‘s Lindsay “HubbHouse” Hubbard who I thought was Lindsay in the cast photo. This is going to be confusing.)

Also appearing this season are the Toms of Vanderpump Rules, for some reason. As we all know, Tom Schwartz is recently divorced and probably even sadder to look at than he normally is. In the trailer, he can be heard wondering whether or not he has alcohol poisoning.

I can understand why Bravo would bring this show back. It probably costs $3 to make, and it’s a great excuse to get a bunch of B-level Bravo personalities from different shows with the potential reality stars of tomorrow (like real estate agent Ms. Metaverse). Since cast members almost never leave the Airbnb, the cameras are on them 24/7, which means producers can stretch ten days of filming into ten or more episodes.

But do we still need to see 30-somethings quarantining together in freezing weather? Certainly, the rest of America has dropped out of pandemic-related activities. What could this season’s narrative even be? Guess I’ll have to watch every episode to find out.

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