Holiday-themed TV movies became a phenomenon for the Hallmark Channel, Lifetime, Great American Family and other networks in the months leading up to Christmas. Reliably predictable storylines, inevitable romances, and inexplicable obsessions with snow globes can inject a warm glow into even the most frigid winter days – as long as you’re willing to suspend your expectations of reality for a bit. There’s no denying the popularity of the small screen subgenre, and there’s just something heartwarming about how every problem can be solved with varying levels of Christmas cheer.
However, if you expect learn things from a hallmark movielike the royal family really celebrate the holidays, or what Actually happens when you meet your ex-boyfriend at home, it’s going to end badly. (Just like your first attempt at a relationship with your future love, right?) These fantastic elements and details are all part of the fun, so grab a big cup of your small town’s famous hot chocolate and let’s have a go. take a look at 6 things not to think too much about when watching any Next Christmas Hallmark film.
Why You Can Never See Characters’ Breath Outside
Holiday movies are never without the spirit of Christmas, which is often depicted through beautiful snow-covered streets, skating rinks, and strolls to quaint town squares, likely to attend an annual festival or ceremony. tree lighting. So if it’s so cold, why don’t you ever see someone’s breath?
To get these feature-length gems ready for the holiday season, the cast and crew obviously have to shoot everything earlier in the year. Candace Cameron Bure shared a bit of that sweaty experiencewhen she posted about the set of her movie Great American Family A Christmas gift… during the California heat wave. It’s definitely not something you want to dwell too much on, if you want to stay engulfed in the fantasy world of Yuletide TV.
Why Everyone’s Vacation Schedules Are So Flexible
Vacations can be a magical time, but there’s also a lot of stress in the real world, with events, travel plans, shopping, family reunions, and more making planning a mega chore. In Hallmark movies, however, everyone seems able to go with any particular stream without any particular issues. Hosting an impromptu party on Christmas Eve? Great, no one else had any pre-plans either! Want to get the whole town involved in a Secret Santa? Yes, they love shopping for strangers at the last minute!
I would break out in hives over some of the hijinks these characters decide to pull on their neighbors and loved ones, but in Hallmark movies? Rest assured that when the Christmas play venue inevitably goes down, or they have to hold a fundraising event to save the local bakery, there is a town of people who are ready and willing to step in, logistics be cursed.
Why do bad real estate investors wait until Christmas to strike, and where are their bags anyway?
Speaking of this local bakery, Christmas seems like a vulnerable time of year for toy stores and small town bakeries. Why do big real estate investors always choose Christmas to send a lackey to break the news that their famous Jingle Bell Main Street or whatever is going to be a parking lot in a year? I don’t think it’s as trivial as they would have us believe. On the other hand, how do these places still exist with the Internet? Is online shopping not a thing in this world? Where are the FedEx drivers and Amazon trucks?
These questions could certainly drive you in circles, but just one more for the big city businessman: where is your luggage? So many out-of-towners show up with a medium-sized carry-on, and are then seen around town somehow wearing various thick coats and boots that don’t seem like impulse buys from the start of the day.
Why members of the royal family have no security and are not recognized in public
Holiday movies involving royal families require a whole new level of suspended disbelief, as they apparently really want you to think that all you need to do to fall in love and marry royalty at Christmas is simply be at proximity to royalty. (It works for celebrities, too!) It’s apparently quite easy to do too, as members of the royal family are always seen walking down busy streets without any security guards in sight (and they all do their own shopping, in person, of course).
Maybe security isn’t really a big deal, as it also seems like they’re usually able to move freely through crowds without being recognized anyway. If you’re not near the royal family, don’t worry. There’s probably a job ad at the castle for a nanny who’s surprisingly easy to lie to.
Does this movie plot sound familiar? A woman shows up at her Airbnb to find it’s already occupied by a man who says he’s also rented the space. If you said this year twisty horror Barbaric, you’re right. If you guessed it was a Hallmark rom-com plot, you’d be right too. Very few tonal shifts would be needed to turn the plots of some holiday Christmas movies into spooky celebrations in their own right.
Strangers are invited into people’s homes without a second thought. Concussion victims are denied medical attention, forced to trust whoever found them lying unconscious in the snow. And don’t even get me started on the quirky townsfolk still lurking around. But could we expect the Hallmark Horror spin-off network to be in the future? (Probably not.)
Why the Small Town Ex Always Wins the Girl Over the Big Town Boyfriend
If you’re a man in a Hallmark movie who has an important job in a big city and is engaged to a lovely woman who’s going home for the holidays, I offer my condolences. Your fiancée is at high risk of being hurt, having amnesia, and falling in love with someone else before her memory returns. Often, all it takes is one simple encounter with an ex-boyfriend at the grocery store or at his parents’ house (because ex-boyfriends ALWAYS stay close to the parents) to derail any adult relationship.
Forget all the dreams your fiancee had for her own career. Forget there were valid reasons why she and her ex broke up in the first place. If they go to the tree lighting festival at the end of the movie, it’s over, man.
Sure, there’s a lot that doesn’t make much sense in holiday TV movies, but that shouldn’t stop anyone from enjoying it this season. Take a look at some of the Hallmark Christmas Movies You’ll Want to Prioritize this month, or tackle them all with our Programming of Christmas films 2022.
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