It’s a Christmas miracle! The House From Home Alone is available on Airbnb for $ 25 along with Traps, Little Nero Pizza, and a Live Tarantula
Speaking of the McCallisters, the only bad part about this promotion is being stuck with Buzz as your guide.
No offense to the actor who is just trying to make money with a role he played over 30 years ago, but this motherfucker will forever be the offspring of Satan in my eyes. The only way I would want him to share the house with me is if I could get him to try and survive all the traps in this House of Horrors that his little brother Jigsaw set up with all the other McCallisters out there. made Kevin’s life hell. without even counting the hours (plural!) that they lost it at Christmas. I’m not just talking about the Mirco machines and the feathers either. I’m talking about slipping on the ice, a blowtorch to the head, and a nail in the foot that I refuse to watch during my annual review of this classic.
I can hear this gif in my soul and it gives me chills down my spine
Other than that, it’s an absolutely brilliant idea. From memory, the Top 3 things I want to do in this legendary house are:
3. Go down the stairs in a sleigh
To be clear, if I did it now, my body would explode after the first step. But it would be absolutely worth it if I somehow survived it because every kid dreamed of doing this in their home before their parents told them they would in the best case possible go to the house. hospital and in the worst case, would die. Yes, that’s a conversation I had with my two kids the first time they watched the movie as well.
2. Recreate the dance scene
This is definitely one of those things that would be more fun to talk about than to do since it would take HOURS to set up. But this shit blew me away the first time I saw it and I always associate “Jingle Bell Rock” with this scene, which is no small feat since it’s a Christmas song by Mount Rushmore which has been played for countless warm holiday moments for your pal Clem.
1. Sleep in the attic
I know Mr. and Mrs. McCallister’s master bedroom is the crème de la crème of this house. But I would never want to sleep in the same room with them for fear of becoming a bad parent by osmosis. Plus, there was always something so awesome about that giant semi-finished attic on top of that fucking SICK house that Mr. McCallister probably acquired through shady deals that stole money from ordinary men that I have always loved it, even if you were doomed to sleep next to a usual pissing bed.
Fuller being the biggest celebrity of the Home Alone cast in 2021 is quite an upheaval. In fact, I’m disappointed Succession didn’t joke that Roman Roy pissed on someone after drinking too much Pepsi because it’s definitely something that a fucking sick man did in the throes of passion at some point.
Anyway, I loved the idea of having the attic all to myself and only learned to respect this scene from the look on Kevin’s face when he told his mom that ‘he hopes he never sees her and the rest of her poisonous family again for the rest of his life. It makes me laugh every time.
PS If you don’t fill the house drains then turn on the water in all the sinks after you are gone, you are a huge cat. Say whatever you want about the Wet Bandits, but these guys had heart.