Pretending it’s not dirty or wet but “vibe” is just the Hyde Park way
Ah, Hyde Park – notoriously known for where the second years move, from skyscrapers and security, to curbside couches and everyday mayhem. And this is your home for the next few years. Instead of finding out the hard way, i.e. living here, I decided to create a list of things you need to know that you will only know if you live in Hyde Park, because the truth is out. , it’s not like any other student district – we have “calling cards”, didn’t you know?
Royal Park Pub / RPP
I love you xx
Once you’re tired of hanging out in freshman year or been embarrassed of doing karaoke at Dry Dock one too many times, Tuesday at RPP is the only place to go and before you know it, you’re doing queuing right after uni to make sure you get in before the dreaded 7pm mayhem.
£3.90 for a two-pint, or if you’re quick there’s a mighty four-pint pitcher up for grabs, plus plenty of offers for spirits and mixers. Give it until 9 p.m. and you’ll be out telling everyone how much you love them, all to embarrass yourself again next Tuesday.
Saino’s 24 hours a day
Whether it’s 9pm or 4am, Saino’s is a lifesaver. There will always be people in need of shit – from chips and dips for a night of watching Come Dine With Me, to cheap wine and last-minute fags.
Whether you’re dressed up before the meadows, or in your dressing gown and slippers having oat milk, this place will be there for you any time of the day – treat it with kindness and respect, and please. please don’t wash them down with their vodka every Friday night! Too many times I’ve been here and the shelves have been completely ransacked like Covid times.
The bars on the windows of the house (?????)
I’ve never seen this in any student area other than Leeds – call it safe or call it surprising. The designers of Leeds student residences were clearly inspired by the latest prison cell magazine; the bars and gates of our windows and doors add a certain delicacy to our streets, but hey, who can complain when trash theft is a serious crime for these purposes, among others.
Rats
The Hyde Park rats are on steroids and I’m sticking to that. They are huge and do not shit at all. Absolutely petrifying and not a vibe.
Questionable Business Cards *ahem*
Another specialty of Leeds (where customer service is clearly the best in the country) – we have business cards. You know what kind of business. It’s a collective emotion in Leeds to see a black Polo parked on the pavement with the window down and a hand outstretched to pass you this, oh so official as a form of marketing. Well done on your business graduates, Beckett.
The random shot/firework
No one ever knows what they are and why they happen at 3 p.m. in broad daylight, literally every day. Your guess is as good as mine but it pisses you off like it’s your first time hearing it.
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