Why doesn’t anyone remember Martin Bashir was on The X Factor: Celebrity?

He sang dad tunes alongside Wes Nelson and Megan McKenna

Excuse me, everyone, but why was the only person who remembers that the disgraced journalist behind the Princess Diana Panorama Martin Bashir was a short-lived Celebrity X Factor contestant in 2019? I tried very hard to watch season five of The Crown completely distracted every time Bashir popped up thinking…I watched you forget the lyrics to Easy during a live broadcast. Well, not the actor who plays him – but you’ve got me drifting. Here’s everything you need to know about Martin Bashir’s Celebrity X Factor fever dream.

“I would like to have the opportunity to develop a second career”

Martin Bashir walks around on Celebrity X Factor proclaiming he’s after a new career, and judges Simon Cowell, Nicole Scherzinger and Louis Walsh all give their shocked best faces to the GCSE drama – as if they haven’t known the programming all this time. He takes the stage, sings a Benidorm karaoke rendition of Marvin Gaye’s Love, and fights his way to the next round.

Martin then did a few gigs, and it’s a bit like when we saw Wagner play damned bongos at She Bangs. The second week, he forgets his words, but still manages to get through to the third week. He only sings songs you might find on a Michael Bublé album. Nicole Scherzinger cracks at every opportunity.

He got fired the third week, and you know what? Three weeks was generous!

When and what was The X Factor: Celebrity???

I feel like it totally eluded the world and then Covid hit and its memory was really lost to the ether, but it was a botched take on the show before it was canceled. Megan McKenna won it, there was a band of islanders with Wes Nelson, Zara McDermott, Eyal and Samira called No Love Lost and Artie from Glee sang Camila Cabello.

A strange time for culture.

Crown season five is now available on Netflix. For all the latest Netflix news, drops, quizzes and memes like The Holy Church of Netflix on Facebook.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

Here’s everything you need to know about Princess Diana and Hasnat Khan’s relationship

Did Princess Diana and the Queen really have an intense conversation before the BBC interview?

Here’s what The Crown got right about Margaret and Diana’s rocky relationship

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