How Millennials Planned To Attend 7 Weddings In A Year On A $50,000 Salary
- Deona Perlas, 27, has attended 15 wedding events over the past year.
- She learned to afford this lifestyle on a salary of $50,000 a year.
- She says there are lots of ways to save money on hotels, gifts, dresses and makeup.
Deona Perlas loves weddings. That’s why she’s attended 15 wedding events across the country in the past year, including seven weddings, four bachelorette parties and four bridal showers.
She still has more on the books for 2023.
But the 27-year-old faces a tough financial challenge: paying all travel, accommodation, clothing and gifts associated with a $50,000 salary.
Earlier this year, she says she realized she was “financially and physically exhausted”.
“I kept spending money on the same things over and over again,” she told Insider.
Perlas is one of many Americans whose fridges are covered in wedding invitations. After the pandemic forced many couples to give up getting married, there was a wedding party in 2022 as pandemic restrictions ease. A record 2.6 million weddings will take place in the United States this year, wedding planning platform The Knot estimated in January.
While many attendees were happy to celebrate, the deluge of weddings can take a toll on Americans’ finances. A 2019 The Knot study found that guests spend an average of $776 per wedding for travel, accommodation, gifts and clothing, a number that likely increased due to inflation. Wedding party members typically spend even more, however, and the figure doesn’t include spending on bachelor or hen parties, as well as bridal showers.
As the year draws to a close, Perlas says she’s not only learned a lot about saving money through the wedding process, but also how to say “no” on occasion.
Deona Perlas after catching a bouquet toss at a wedding.
Deona Pearls
It is possible to save on hotels, gifts, dresses and makeup
Perlas says about “90%” of the events in her wedding involved travel, but she has a “saving grace” that gives her a head start when budgeting. She lives in Phoenix but works as a flight attendant, which allows her to “fly free” on hold.
But that benefit could actually cost her more in the long run, she says. She sometimes feels like she has “no excuse” not to attend every wedding, bachelorette party and shower she’s invited to. The more she attends these events, the more non-flight expenses pile up, which has forced her to find ways to cut costs.
Many couples provide a main hotel or two for guests, but Perlas says she’s not shy about “getting cunning” and looking elsewhere for the cheapest option, whether it’s an AirBnB, a homestay friends in the area, or worse case, paying for a hotel room with two or three other people.
She’s also tackled a few side jobs — consulting and selling her crafts — which she says brought her $10,000 in extra income this year and helped keep her expenses in check.
She’s also using two “COVID hobbies” she’s chosen — hand embroidery and photography — to save money on wedding gifts and add a personal touch at the same time. She has gifted sweaters she sewed with “fun patterns,” as well as books with photos from the wedding weekend.
When she buys a gift from the registry, she says she tries to do it early, when the items in her budget are still available. If all the items are picked up, or if nothing fits her budget, she says she has become more comfortable giving money. And if money is particularly tight, she’ll send a gift weeks or months after the wedding, or whenever she’s “saved up again.”
Perlas says she often wears dresses to weddings, but she’s usually “at the mercy of what the bride chooses” when she’s at the bridal party. Recently, she was about to buy a $200 bridesmaid dress when a friend told her to look for it on Poshmark, where some bridesmaids resell their dresses. Perlas says she found the same dress for just $70.
Perlas says bridesmaids often have the option of paying around “$80 to $90” to have their hair and makeup done on the wedding day, but she says she “never signs up.”
“I had to learn how to do makeup on YouTube and do it myself,” she said.
When involved in planning bachelorette parties, she said she plans months in advance to get the best deals on the tinsel backdrop, matching cowboy hats, disco ball cups and all the other details that “really add up”.
Deona Perlas’ fridge, which is covered in wedding invitations.
Deona Pearls
“I don’t need to go to the shower, the bachelorette party and your wedding”
For the first half of 2022, Perlas says his mindset was, “I’m going to go to every one of them.” But halfway through that year, she says she realized she was starting to feel burnt out.
She was due to attend weddings in New York and Oregon over back-to-back weekends when she decided she needed a break and decided to skip them both – the only two weddings she missed this year. She says both couples were understanding, but turning down invitations can still be very uncomfortable for her.
On the one hand, she says, the 2022 marriage boom has created busy schedules and financial hurdles for people like her. On the other hand, however, she says the couples seem to be aware that “everyone has a lot of commitments,” which perhaps makes them more understanding than they otherwise would be.
When she declines an invitation, Perlas says she makes it a point to attend at least one wedding event.
“I don’t need to go to the shower, the bachelorette party and your wedding,” she said. “It’s just not, especially if we don’t live in the same state.”
When she declines a wedding invitation, she recommends contacting the couple directly and letting them know well in advance if possible.
Looking ahead, Perlas says she will likely consider 2022 her busiest wedding year, but 2023 is also shaping up to be very busy. But she says she’s learned how to budget, save money and, when it gets overwhelming, prioritize which weddings she attends over others.
“I love weddings and wanted to go to all of them,” she said. “But it’s a commitment, and I know I have to plan accordingly if I have to go to all of them.”
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