Husband wants a personal Christmas invitation to his in-laws, doesn’t invite himself and his wife and tries to blame it on her
The holiday season can be full of light, beauty and warmth, and it’s worth spending it with your loved ones. But one of the worst things that can happen at this time is a serious argument with family and friends. Unfortunately, this happens all the time.
And the cause of family fights can be something as small as an invitation to a Christmas party. Specifically, his absence, as redditor u/Lukeproblem135 shared in his viral post on the AITA subreddit. She explained how her husband felt insulted that his parents did not send him a separate invitation to the Christmas party.
The situation became very tense, so the woman turned to Reddit for advice on what went wrong and what they could do next. The full story is below. What do you think of everything that happened, Panda? How would you have solved the problem? Share your thoughts in the comments.
Boring Panda reached out to u/Lukeproblem135 on Reddit and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Even small, seemingly insignificant details can turn into huge family disputes
Video Credits: Timur Weber (not real photo)
A woman shared how her husband was angry that his in-laws did not send him a separate invitation to the Christmas party
Video Credits: Julia Larson (not real photo)
She clarified that the invitation was not physical. It was sent via text message
The situation has worsened enough for the woman’s parents
Video Credits: Luke’s problem135
The author of the post, redditor u/Lukeproblem135, shared a bit of an update after her post went viral. She explained that after the argument escalated, her parents finally called them both out.
What’s more, she pointed out that the invitation to the party was sent via text message. Her husband Lukas wanted a separate text from his parents. According to the OP, he didn’t want to be seen as an extension of his wife. But all this animosity between him and his in-laws led to an outcome that almost no one wanted: celebrating the holidays separately.
Most disputes and disagreements between people arise from a lack of clear boundaries. For example, one person may be too timid to set boundaries for what is acceptable and what is not. On the other hand, the other person may not know that they are invading someone else’s personal space. Or they are so used to dominating all conversations and interactions that their primary way is to establish their presence.
Whatever the reality is (and a lot depends on each individual situation), there’s nothing like healthy honest but friendly communication to determine the outcome. Nobody reads minds. Not even your in-laws, believe it or not. You can’t expect someone to automatically understand that their behavior might annoy you. Especially if you’re good at being polite, or at least pretending to be.
Remember that regardless of the age difference, everyone is an adult in these situations. A quick word about how you would appreciate it if they didn’t talk to you a certain way or avoid doing something can save you from a whirlwind of drama in the future. And it beats being passive-aggressive with your in-laws for years before it all boils down to a major age dispute.
It’s much better to have a short but completely awkward conversation and move on with your life. Who knows, you might even become friends.
Another tip you may want to follow is to get on the same page with your partner when it comes to in-laws. You have to play as a team or your relationship may suffer.
“A united front makes a huge difference. You don’t want to be at the crossroads of the in-laws explaining things to your spouse. If you and your spouse are on the same page, then you can take the path of least resistance with the in-laws and just politely smile and say “sure” but then do things as you and your spouse feel is healthy for you. relationship,” Dr. Ramani Durvasula, psychologist specializing in relationships, told NBC News.
And if all else fails and you feel like the holiday season is just falling apart, consider paying a few compliments to your in-laws.
“Praising a person is like defusing a bomb or at least changing the thermostat.” It may seem unfair, but everyone can find something nice to say about someone. Even if the in-laws are calling for a fight, you can rip those wires,” explained Dr. Durvasula.